43 | Adopting a Mindset of Organization
43 | Adopting a Mindset of Organization
Welcome to Episode 43, where we unravel the transformative power of adopting a mindset of organization. In this episode, I draw from a poll among organizing experts, to uncover the automatic thoughts shaping their perspectives.
Tune in as I challenge conventional notions around organization, highlight the impact of our perception on our spaces, and explore the intricacies of an organized perspective. I’ll touch on various aspects of mindset and its influence on our approach to tasks, responsibilities, and problem-solving.
Know that it's not just about swapping thoughts. It's a continuous journey, and the more you practice getting curious about your current perspective, the more you’ll see how you’re more organized than you think.
Click the link below for the full list of thoughts and press play to join me on this inspiring exploration.
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Intro: Welcome to A Pleasant Solution, Embracing an Organized Life. I'm your host, certified life coach, professional organizer and home life expert, Amelia Pleasant Kennedy and I help folks permanently eliminate clutter in their homes and lives. On this podcast we’ll go beyond the basics of home organization to talk about why a clutter-free mindset is essential to an aligned and sustainable lifestyle. If you're someone with a to-do list, if you're managing a household and if you're caring for others, this podcast is for you. Let's dive in.
Amelia: Welcome to Episode 43, Adopting a Mindset of Organization.
Hey y’all. Earlier this summer, I conducted a mini poll among my pro organizing colleagues. I wanted to get a sense of some of the automatic thoughts that floated through their minds on a regular basis. I also took a hard look at my own mindset. You see, organization or being organized, these are made up concepts. Similarly, disorganization or being disorganized, is too. To be clear, what I mean by “made up” is that there’s no hard and fast rule or line between the two qualities: organized and disorganized. It’s all in how we perceive or understand our space. It’s our perspective, our thinking that plays a big impact on our spaces.
So, before everyone’s feathers get ruffled, I’ll clarify further. I support anyone's desire to become more organized. Typically, this starts with decluttering the number of objects that occupy one’s space. Research has shown that the number of objects in a space impacts stress levels: more objects in your visual field translates to the brain needing to work harder to understand it’s space which in turn leads to increased cortisol levels. Left unchecked, too many objects, especially unwanted ones, can lead to poor health outcomes. I’m 100% on board with this science.
I also know from experience and numerous conversations that your thinking, your mindset, your subjective opinions, impact how you feel about your space. You also have a set of thoughts about your skills and ability to maintain your home. This is one reason I say that “you’re more organized than you think.” Each of us has an opinion that leans towards the critical lens when it comes to the state of our office or paperwork, and whether our long-term storage is out of control or not. Even “organized” folks. If you have ADHD, this self-critical lens may be further amplified. Then there’s also your opinion about how frequently you tidy and declutter, and about how good you are at doing these tasks.
So, on today’s episode I’m going to share the unscientific results from my poll. If you’d like to grab the list of 40 thoughts, I’ll link it in the show notes. I’ll break a few of these thoughts down and explain how they show up for me in my life. I strongly believe that those of us who consider ourselves organized have developed a mindset and a level of resilience around our thinking about our homes. Essentially, we believe that we’re organized. We believe that we can be organized. We also believe that we have the skills and problem-solving skills to manage our spaces, our time, our energy. This leads to a growth mindset of possibility versus the closed mindset of impossibility. When I work with clients in Embracing an Organized Life, my one-to-one coaching program, this is an essential part of our work together. You nurture and develop your mindset around organization, time, and home management as well as learn the practical tools to close any skills gaps. It’s a thrilling transformation for me to witness clients embody.
I want to pause briefly here and share that adopting a mindset of organization is a journey, not a quick swap of thoughts. You’ll frustrate yourself if you simply take a new thought that deep down seems impossible to you and start saying it to yourself. Part of growth mindset work is building the bridge from impossible to possible, using reasonable realistic steps. If you’re someone who’s been told for decades that you’re disorganized and incapable of being on time, those beliefs may be part of your identity. There’s a level of unlearning of long-held beliefs that must take place to be able to insert new, possible beliefs in their place. Doing this work, the unlearning and relearning is immensely valuable. Our brains are malleable and can be reshaped and pointed towards new ways of being which is the most amazing news.
So, as I share for the remainder of the episode, check in with yourself. Reflect in on how easy it is for you to access the sentence I’m offering you within. If your automatic response is “that’s bonkers,” or “that’s so far from where I’m at,” that may be a sign that a bridge is needed between your current thoughts and the thoughts presented. You’re not wrong for needing a bridge, just notice with curiosity and self-compassion how it resonates with you. I’ll aim to offer an accessible bridge thought with each of the three ideas I break down.
Alright, so thought number one that an organized person thinks is, “If I don’t want to do it now, I’m definitely not going to want to do it later.” This one has many layers to it, and I’m sure I’ll be thinking of more even after I stop recording. There’s the layer of procrastination. There’s the layer of daily choices. There’s the layer of feeling through the discomfort now that will save me time and emotional energy later. It's a bit of truth that applies to your home and to your schedule. For example, let’s take the weekly task of managing paperwork. Procrastination is always a choice and a tool you can use with paperwork, however, paperwork, filing emails, budgeting, these are just dull tasks. You’re not going to want to do it now, nor are you going to want to do it later. Real talk. It’s just not fun.
Someone who believes they’re organized is going to recognize that they’re not going to enjoy it later and they’ll recognize that it will actually be harder later. There may be more papers or bills, requiring more time and attention. Then there will be the judgment about procrastinating, of missing a deadline, or of not giving time and attention to something important. A person who considers themselves to be organized is willing to feel the discomfort of taking a half hour each week to handle paperwork processing and filing because they know that it’s going to be dull either way.
The same would be true to saying yes to an unwanted commitment on the calendar. Becoming organized involves pausing and checking in with yourself before committing to an activity. It’s easy to say yes in the moment to baking 6 dozen cookies for the bake sale, yet if you don’t want to (or have the time) to do it this week, you’re definitely not going to want to make the time to do it in three weeks when the deadline is approaching. Meaning, a person who considers themselves organized is thinking about their future self – the one who has to follow through on the commitment – as much as their current self. That’s why it’s important to pause, rather than respond right away. Now, I recognize that this future self thinking can be a challenge with ADHD, which is why the pause is essential. You won’t have more time in the future than you have today. You’re always creating and choosing what to do with your time, and an organized person recognizes that the temporary discomfort now saves them greater discomfort in the future.
Decluttering, for example, isn’t necessarily more fun for someone who’s organized. It’s simply a choice they engage in, or a form of internal discipline. Now, remember, what I don’t want is for you to use these words or phrases – organized, discipline, etc. – against yourself. Instead, consider a bridge to what’s accessible and believable for you right where you are today. A bridge thought may be “It’s okay that I don’t want to do it now. I’m practicing being a person who – fill in the blank – processes paperwork rather than avoids it.” “I’m working on decluttering more frequently, even though I don’t want to do it now or later.” Incorporate kindness along your journey because you’re already more organized than you think.
The next thought I’ll highlight is less of an active, top of the mind thought, and more of a deeper, below the surface thought. Those who consider themselves organized hold the belief that “every item in my home is my responsibility.” This thought encompasses choices and boundaries. It’s a recognition of how it’s easier to let items into your home and harder to get them out. It’s a recognition that items can’t just show up within your walls, you actually have to give them permission to come inside. Even with gifts, free swag, or other people’s stuff. Not speaking up, saying “no thank you,” or explicitly stating your wishes to others can create clutter, and I’ve developed a habit of being more forthright and honest, when the situation calls for it. It’s being willing to go through the temporary discomfort – the awkward look on someone’s face, the child’s temporary temper tantrum – to limit the amount of clutter coming in.
Believing that every item, from the smallest paperclip to the largest sofa, is your responsibility translates to an awareness of those items’ impact on your space. For example, a few weekends ago I encouraged my daughter to declutter her closet. She pulled out two bags of clothing, toys, and outgrown shoes. Now, she’d probably done this same process six months ago. Because I’d ask her to do it, I decided to follow through and give my closet a scan. I was ruthless. We’re currently living in two apartments, and I knew that I had plenty of clothing in Ohio. I didn’t need a whole second set of clothing in Detroit. I pulled another two bags of clothing. The following weekend my husband pulled his unwanted items. All together we had six bags of clothing to donate. These items were our responsibility. Whether they continue to stay in the closet and drawers or head out into the world beyond, this belief motivates me to understand that the work of decluttering exists whether I do it or not. I can’t escape decision making. The clothing, the decisions, the tasks, they’ll wait UNTIL I take responsibility for them.
Think about your parents and the number of belongings they have. There’s a part of you that bristles when thinking about what will happen to those items. Will you be responsible for them? Will they declutter, downsize, or communicate their wishes to you? No one – even the most organized of us – wants to also be responsible for someone else’s belongings. Our material load is enough. So, consider how much you truly believe and take ownership over the items in your home. If you’re a little squirmy around this one, try on “It’s possible that I’ll eventually have to make decisions about all of these items.” It’s my opinion that someone who’s organized swallows the sour pill a little bit every 6 months or a year, rather than waiting until a future decade.
The last thought I want to offer is, “I know how to handle this.” Another version that’s similar would be, “There’s always a solution.” As I was thinking through today’s episode, I shared the list of organized thoughts with my son who’s 14. I asked him which I should highlight, and he picked this one. He recognized that someone with a growth mindset – who’s becoming more organized – would think that they could figure things out. I loved his response, and I agree. I know there’s always a solution and that I can take the steps to discover it or handle it. Sure, I might need to learn or practice something. I might need to struggle through a little muck or feel an unpleasant feeling, and there’s the belief that I can find my way to the other side.
You know how to handle things. Even when you’re overwhelmed or stuck. You know how to be a little vulnerable. You know how to ask another person for their perspective, their opinion, or how they would get through the messy middle of a task. Your heart and intuition also hold wisdom. Learning to trust that inner knowing, the part of you that says you can make it through a round of 3 hard decisions today or this week or you’re a great problem solver, is a worthwhile skill to develop. An organized person doesn’t have all the answers or know more than a “disorganized” person, they’re simply willing to keep trying, stumbling, failing, and dusting themselves off until they find a strategy or solution that works for their brain, their life, their home.
If you’re not at the point where you know how to handle something, try “I’m on my way to figuring out how to handle things.” “I haven’t found the solution yet, so I’ll keep trying.” These will open your mindset to seeing how you’re more organized than you think. You’re capable. I know and believe it. Our goal is always to get you to see it too.
So, to quickly recap the three thoughts for today, there’s “If I don’t want to do it now, I’m definitely not going to want to do it later.” There’s “Every item in my home is my responsibility.” And lastly, “I know how to handle this.” These thoughts are available to us all, no matter where you envision you are on the organization spectrum. If you’re curious about the other thoughts on the list, I invite you to click the link in the show notes to join my email community and download the remainder. I’m sure I’ll keep adding to it. I’d love to hear how today’s episode resonated with you, so please don’t hesitate to leave a review or send me an email with your feedback. It’s always welcome. Talk to y’all soon.
Outro: Hey y'all, I'd be honored if you'd take three minutes to leave a review of this podcast. Your time is precious and by leaving a review, A Pleasant Solution will reach more listeners and lives. I'd also love to hear your feedback and share your review on a future episode. Talk to y'all soon and remember, you’re more organized than you think.
