17 | Decision Making Fundamentals
17 | Decision Making Fundamentals
On today’s episode, I address the fundamentals of decision-making. Of course, you already know how to say no or yes. You may also know when you’re stuck or avoiding a project or decision. So join me as I dive into why decision-making is a cornerstone of a clutter-free life and how you can powerfully wield the tool of decision.
One of the core values of my business is the simplicity of time and space. Decision-making is one way to bring this into reality. You’re always making decisions whether you’re aware of it or not. Decluttering your home and life is about harnessing the power of your choices.
Decluttering may dredge up memories that act as roadblocks for the decision-making process, but when you reward yourself for making decisions, your brain will like it and seek more. That’s one reason why it’s so important to celebrate every choice as a win. Remember, you are more organized than you think.
RESOURCE:
Curious to learn how Clutter Coaching is different than in-home organizing?
Download my Clarity Guide + join my email community.
FEATURED ON THE SHOW:
Come say hello on Instagram
Follow me on Facebook
See what I’m up to on LinkedIn
Join my workshops.
LIKE THIS EPISODE?
I invite you to share, rate, review and follow my show. Also, join the conversation by connecting with me on Instagram @apleasantsolution.
-
Intro: Welcome to A Pleasant Solution, Embracing an Organized Life. I'm your host, certified life coach, professional organizer, and home life expert, Amelia Pleasant Kennedy, and I help folks permanently eliminate clutter in their homes and lives. On this podcast, we'll go beyond the basics of home organization to talk about why a clutter-free mindset is essential to an aligned and sustainable lifestyle. If you're someone with a to-do list, if you're managing a household, and if you're caring for others, this podcast is for you. Let's dive in.
Amelia: Welcome to Episode 17, “Decision Making Fundamentals.” Okay y’all – let me be honest. I love making decisions. Choosing a path brings clarity of purpose and forward movement for me. Knowing the next step ahead can calm our stress levels. A quick side note – I don’t experience anxiety on a regular basis, so I do recognize that for some of you there may be an interplay between anxiety and today’s topic of decision making.
For me, making a decision often quiets any mental clutter I may be experiencing around a topic or an item. Yet, like any human, I sometimes FORGET how much I like making decisions. When I forget, I end up swirling around internally until I become aware of what’s happening. (As I’ve mentioned before: organized people aren’t magical unicorns, we’ve just practiced these skills a bit more than others.)
For example, each week, I decide what topic to share with you on this podcast. I intentionally choose the title of the episode, a few key points to share, and when I’ll record the episode. I work with an excellent, patient podcast manager named Collet who acts as my invisible accountability partner. I have a bazillion topic ideas – so, you can expect this podcast to stick around for a while – AND without care and attention having a bazillion ideas can lead to indecision. When I’m in indecision, the podcast production process can seem harder than it actually is. I’m sure you can relate – whether it’s around items in your home, a care decision for a loved one, your bottomless to-do list, or around your schedule for the week ahead.
Just like me, you’re more organized than you think. The journey of embracing an organized life is about developing self-awareness. Noticing when you’re in the swamp of indecision is the first step to getting out of the muck and mud and back on track.
On today’s episode, I’ll address the fundamentals of decision making. You already know how to say no or yes. You also may know when you’re feeling stuck or avoiding a project or a decision. This episode will cover the next layer deeper. I’ll talk about why decision making is a cornerstone of a clutter-free life and how you can powerfully wield the tool of decision making to bring your goals and desires into being. One of the core values of my business is simplicity of time, space, and being, and decision making is one way of HOW to bring this into reality.
Ok, so the first takeaway for today is that decision making is a skill. It can be learned, and it can be taught. It’s not something that some people are “good at” and others of us are “bad at.” That’s nonsense. It’s a skill. The more you practice consciously deciding, the more comfortable you’ll become. Consciously is the key word here. Later in the episode I’ll touch on how you’re always making decisions whether you’re aware of it or not. You’re making multiple tens of thousands of decisions each day already, and for the purposes of decluttering your home and life, it’s about harnessing the power of your choices to craft the space and lifestyle that feels amazing.
Let’s take a step back in time for a moment. During the early years of your life, there were certain expectations others set for you. Each of these expectations involved a life decision (aka a “big” decision). Examples may include graduating from high school or attending college, moving out on your own, finding a life partner, paying your own bills, buying or renting a home, or building a family. These expectations either came from your family, your community, or from within. You were responsible for the choice and the outcome. You decided which way to go and what was next.
As you’ve entered adulthood and midlife, however, the types of goals and future focused expectations unexpectedly dwindle. You’ve achieved certain milestones, and comfort and survival become more of the day-to-day focus. Of course, I’m being generic here, but notice how overall, our decision-making habits shift from being “big” life-changing decision to daily decisions: what you’ll fix for dinner, whether the kids will play soccer, hockey, play the piano or violin, join the cheer squad or learn chess, and whether you’ll get up at 5:30 or 6:30am.
Without intentional focus, we all fall OUT of decision-making practice. It’s not that you’re suddenly bad at making decisions about what to keep or what to toss, it’s that the number of tiny, seemingly insignificant decisions drain our energy. Making choices beyond the daily grind SEEMS hard. Making changes to your home or lifestyle SEEMS difficult. You begin to think there’s a right way and a wrong way to live your life, keep your home, and manage your schedule. You begin to believe that once a decision is made, that you must stick with it until the end of time. But reactivating your decision-making muscle is possible and doing so will build your confidence, emotional fortitude, and your self-trust.
Which brings me to takeaway number two: decluttering your home, life, and schedule is rooted in powerful decisions. A decision, simply put, is essential to any progress, change, or goal you desire. When you’re in the mindset of solving for the present (dinner, to-dos) you’re not routinely tapping into yourself. Instead, you’re on autopilot. I get it. I get in this cycle sometimes too. I snap myself out of it by asking the question, “What do I really want here?” Looking within slows me down and takes me out of the mental swirl.
Fundamentally, decluttering is a series of decisions. That’s it. That’s the hard part. The physical transfer of items out of your house takes energy, yet it’s the decision making that’s draining. It’s the decision making you avoid. Your brain has woven together a STORY about how it’s going to take a long time to declutter. It’s going to dredge up memories about the past. You may have self-judgment. These automatic thoughts act as a roadblock for the decision-making process and delay your project further. This roadblock puts you smack in the middle of the “waiting place.” (If you’ve ever read the Dr. Seuss book, ‘Oh the Places You’ll Go,’ you know what I mean.)
So, if decluttering your home, life, and schedule is rooted in decisions, INDECISION must be the land of clutter. Indecision, my friends, is actually a decision. It’s the decision NOT to make a decision. It’s a choice. I’ll say it once more: no decision IS a decision. It may not feel that way in your body or brain. Here’s another way to look at it. Visualize an item that you’re wavering about letting go of. Let’s say it’s a scarf someone gave you that’s itchy and scratchy AND its designer label. You don’t wear it, yet you’ve got your reasons why you’ve held onto it for so long. Now picture three doors. Through door one is the path to donation. Through door two is the path back into your closet. Through door three is the path to resale online or via consignment.
You’re standing in front of the doors. Every minute you continue to stand there looking at the doors, looking at the choices, thinking about which one is the “best” or “right” decision… every one of those minutes IS a decision. You’re in the waiting place. You’re in indecision. It’s a choice to keep standing there – whatever the reason. Now y’all know I’m all about awareness and not making yourself wrong for where you are at this moment. I understand that some choices can be complex. What I’m hoping that you’ll see is that you can stand in front of the doors as long as you like or as long as it makes sense for you. AND doing so is a decision. You may need practice noticing that within yourself, and if so, that’s progress.
Delaying a decision until a later date, doesn’t make the need to make the decision disappear. If you’ve ever inherited clutter from another person, you understand. The person who originally owned the items either avoided making decisions so long that now you’re the next person responsible, or they decided to give the items to you. I can’t stress this enough. Not deciding is a decision. It’s a decision to push off feeling the discomfort around the decision until another day.
Whew! To recap, takeaway one of decision-making fundamentals is that it’s a skill. It’s a muscle you must reactivate or build. Takeaway two is that decluttering is rooted in powerful decision making.
Which brings us to takeaway number three: every decision you make is a WIN. The more you practice making decisions, the easier it will become. The compound effect of NOT making decisions is what leads us to a cluttered home and schedule. The compound effect of intentionally, actively deciding what you want, what makes sense for your space, or what you want the shape of your days to look like is more confidence and control. Therefore, all decisions are a win. They move you forward. Most decisions can be reversed in some way, shape, or form too (which we often forget). I encourage you to give yourself credit for every single decision you make while decluttering.
For example, let’s say you’re looking at the catchall tray you have in the mudroom or entryway. It’s overflowing with different items. It’s become an eyesore, and you’re ready to tackle this one small space. Cheers! You already have a win. You’ve decided on a space to declutter, and you’ve narrowed your focus to this one place. I love timers, so I’d encourage you to decide on how much time you want to spend looking through the catchall tray. Your first step is to pour everything out. There’s another win – you’ve actually decided to start. You immediately identify the items that definitely need to stay put. (Celebrate!) You then identify the items that are garbage or aren’t worth a second thought (think paperclips, random business cards, or cheap surprise toys from the Happy Meal). Celebrate – you have two piles. Then there are remaining items that belong elsewhere. You decide they don’t belong and go toss out the trash and put the extra items back where they belong. You’ve just made a series of decisions in a short time frame, and that’s a win!
There are no rules in the land of home organization. You can celebrate every time you say no to a freebie piece of swag. You can celebrate every time you shred a couple of papers with sensitive information. When you reward yourself for making decisions, your brain will like the dopamine hit and seek it more. That’s why some folks LOVE to declutter. They’ve practiced building the skillset of decision making and have been receiving lots of internal positive reinforcement along the way. Celebrating – or acknowledging – your progress builds a success mindset. Waiting until you’ve decluttered and organized the ENTIRE mudroom is ridiculous. There’s no reason to wait to do a little dance. You’ve made progress, and it’s glorious. You’re more organized than you think.
On future episodes I’ll dive further into the nuances of decision making. As I mentioned, it’s one of the cornerstones of a clutter-free life and mind. Now, I’m off to celebrate finishing this episode. I’ll pass this episode to my brilliant podcast editor who’ll work her magic, then I’ll do it all over again. Thanks for deciding to stick with me. I’m grateful for each and every one of y’all.
Outro: Hey, y'all my monthly Second Friday's Workshop Series is here. Join me on the second Friday of every month in 2023 for a practical, no frills, come as you are hour of teaching and coaching. I'll show you exactly how I handle one area of home organization, then the floor will be open for questions and coaching. We'll troubleshoot what's feeling challenging for you and get you unstuck on the spot. Find out more and register at www.apleasantsolution.com/workshops or via Instagram @apleasantsolution. Can't wait to meet you.
