11 | Aligning Your Wardrobe With Your Lifestyle
11 | Aligning Your Wardrobe With Your Lifestyle
In this episode, I discuss how to practically declutter and update your wardrobe from a mindset-based approach. I’m going to encourage you to look at your clothing from the point of view of the past, your current reality, and your future self.
Each set of objects holds a story or a memory, which is why they’re so difficult to get rid of. It’s also why it’s easy to get bogged down in the swamp of indecision when cleaning out your closet. But, identifying and engaging with your feelings is the key to having permanent control over your space and belongings. An item earns its keep by giving you something in return for the space it currently occupies in your closet and life.
Clothing – or any item for that matter – is always auditioning FOR you, and this decluttering moment is a great time to see if it makes the cut. The process may be slow at first, but you’re more organized than you think. Keep going. Mindful decluttering of your wardrobe will help you get to know yourself better and redefine your priorities and values. This step is another powerful shift in mindset on your journey to embracing an organized life.
MENTIONED ON THIS EPISODE: Episode 06: Creating Your Future Self
RESOURCE:
Ready to declutter but not sure where to take items?
Download my Decluttering Resources Quick Guide + join my email community.
FEATURED ON THE SHOW:
Come say hello on Instagram
Follow me on Facebook
See what I’m up to on LinkedIn
Join my workshops.
LIKE THIS EPISODE?
I invite you to share, rate, review and follow my show. Also, join the conversation by connecting with me on Instagram @apleasantsolution.
-
Intro: Welcome to A Pleasant Solution, Embracing an Organized Life. I'm your host, certified life coach, professional organizer, and home life expert, Amelia Pleasant Kennedy, and I help folks permanently eliminate clutter in their homes and lives. On this podcast, we'll go beyond the basics of home organization to talk about why a clutter-free mindset is essential to an aligned and sustainable lifestyle. If you're someone with a to-do list, if you're managing a household, and if you're caring for others, this podcast is for you. Let's dive in.
Amelia: Welcome to Episode 11, Aligning Your Wardrobe with Your Lifestyle. First off, I’d like to take a moment to say “thank you” to each and every one of you for being here. The launch of this podcast was a tremendous success, and much of the credit goes to y’all. This podcast even was featured on Apple’s NEW SHOW page! You’ve been listening, you’ve been sharing, AND you’ve been leaving reviews. Reviews help shine a light on the podcast so that new listeners can discover it. Leaving a review takes 3 minutes, and I’d love to highlight a few who’ve shared feedback.
The Modern Steward kicked off the reviews by sharing, “I am a new subscriber to this podcast, and I absolutely love it! I appreciate Amelia’s balanced approach as she discusses organizing your life and home. While she doesn’t tell you what to do… she definitely leads you into a thought-provoking discussion with yourself. I can’t wait to listen to the next episode.” Thanks for the feedback, Kimberly. She’s spot on – that’s exactly the aim with this podcast – to get you thinking and engaging with organization in a new way.
Saved_by_sweat shared “I’ve followed Amelia’s content for quite a while now and never tire of her fresh perspective. I deeply appreciate her wisdom, humor, and insight.” Awww – this just warms my heart. Thanks for being part of my community.
Alright y’all. On today’s episode we’re going to dive into how to practically declutter and update your wardrobe from a mindset-based approach. “How-to” knowledge abounds on the internet, and I will always encourage you to take action on any project from an approach that feels aligned and supportive for you. What I’ll present here today is simply one of many perspectives.
In my teens and early twenties, I loved the color brown. There was something about brown leather, in particular, that felt luxurious to me. I gravitated towards brown leather handbags, boots, and belts. To compliment it, I wore ivory, hunter green, camel, and burgundy. (I’m sure my summer wardrobe looked different, I’m just recalling my favorite season, Fall.) I had a navy-blue pea coat that I felt pulled it all together. I wore other colors and patterns too. My wardrobe steadily grew to the point where I felt “prepared for any occasion.”
However, throughout my early to mid-twenties, my taste in clothing changed. I got pregnant. I started graduate school. Leggings became popular, and formal dress became less commonplace at social events. Life moved forward, and my taste in clothing became more streamlined. I had less time to think about what I was wearing as my priorities began to shift. I experienced decision making fatigue more regularly, and I’d find myself fighting with my brain while standing there looking for something to wear. Why was it so complicated to simply get dressed?
To give you a sense of where we’re headed, I’m going to encourage you to look at your clothing from the point of view of the past, your current reality, and your future self. The reason why I’m taking this approach is that all of us here today are either in the midst of a life transition, about to enter one, or have recently left one. Our families and lives are often in motion, and stopping to consider whether your wardrobe is aligned with your lifestyle is an excellent exercise.
Many of you struggle for a bit longer than need be because you’re wading in the swamp of clothing indecision. AND because you’re more organized than you think, stepping out of the swamp (and putting your wellies away) is a mindset shift you’re able to make. I go through this wardrobe thought process myself every so often, and I’m always fascinated by what I learn about myself, my priorities, and my values. When your wardrobe is aligned with your lifestyle, decision fatigue and mental clutter lessens, and your sense of self deepens.
Let’s start off with a short imagination exercise. Picture your main closet and its interior. Now picture your main closet without a door. Its contents were open for all to see. If your current closet was no longer hidden behind a door, and was also in a public-facing room in your house for all to see and browse through, how would you feel? Anyone tense up? I invite you to get curious…how would you feel? Exposed? Glamourous (like, “hey come take a look”)? Ashamed? Resigned? Whatever your answer may be, just notice it. Now, get curious. Identify whether your emotional reaction relates primarily to the state of your closet (basically how items are placed or organized within it) or if your reaction is centered around your clothing (the quantity of items, the styles, how they may fit or not fit, how often you use them). Perhaps your reaction encompassed both.
Then give yourself a big hug. Whether your emotional reaction was tense, tender, or prideful, your feelings make sense. Each of us has a different set of thoughts about our closet, our wardrobe, and about our sense of who we are in relation to our clothing. Accessing your feelings requires vulnerability, and when I work with clients we focus on emotional resilience as a foundational skill. Identifying and engaging with your feelings is the key to having permanent control over your space and belongings. Your feelings are a critical component to your organizing journey, you just may not have considered it before now.
Now, let’s take some practical steps towards decluttering your closet together. I won’t be able to cover both how to organize your closet AND how to think about your clothing in this episode, so trust that the organization part will come easily after you engage with the clothing items within.
If you’re ready to dive into this project right now, head to your closet. If you’d rather think through what this might look and feel like, walk alongside me in your mind. Whenever you’re ready, you can come back to this episode and take action. The first thing I want you to do is remove any items from the closet that aren’t clothing or accessories. You know what I’m talking about: the gift wrap, the suitcases, unhung artwork, the box of old photos…any items that aren’t related to getting dressed need to be removed and set aside. They belong elsewhere in the house and will be dealt with after your closet project. These items are outside the scope of this project and fall into a different organizing category. Don’t hesitate to push pause on the episode to complete this step.
When only clothing and accessories remain, take a few photos of your closet, including behind the door if applicable. Hold onto these until later. These photos are your “before” shots, just like if you were a professional organizer.
Now, let’s look at your clothing from the perspective of your past, of who you used to be. I used to be someone who liked brown. I used to be a size 2. I used to dress up to go to live theater. I used to not have children. I used to wear strapless tops. I used to wear skirts. I used to think that one day maybe I’d need a suit. I used to take ballet and wear leotards and tights. I used to wear clothing that was oversized. I used to wear high heels.
It's your turn. scan for things that are outdated and outgrown. You can easily identify these items because they're either lumped together in the corner of the closet, or they’re casting a metaphoric shadow over the other items. Classic examples include suits from your time in corporate America, maternity clothes, clothes from a loved one, or clothing from when you were a different size or shape. If they’re outdated, you’re not selecting them to wear this week. If they’re outgrown, they reference an older, previous version of you.
These items are weighing you down and holding you back. They’re full of negative energy and carry a story. These objects don’t earn their keep. You know this because you don’t use them and don’t plan to within the next year. An item earns its keep by giving you something in return for the space that it’s currently occupying in your closet and life. Clothing – or any item for that matter – is always auditioning FOR you, and this decluttering moment is a great time to see if it makes the cut.
Notice if any judgment comes up as you identify these items. Get curious about your internal dialogue. Just because it’s there, doesn’t mean you have to listen to it OR believe it. This judgment, these automatic thoughts, they most likely are your brain trying to keep you emotionally safe by steering clear of a challenging emotional landscape. If there’s anything about YOU that needs to change for the item to stay in your closet, that’s a red flag that it’s time for the item to be cleared out.
Each set of objects holds a story or a memory, and this is why they’re so difficult to get rid of. Clothing and accessories are no different. They sit there, tricking your mind into believing that they’re a necessary, integral part of your life. These items of clothing want to tie you to the past, to remind you of who you were (not who you ARE), and to fool you into thinking that the past matters more than the present or future. Take the time to recognize their role in your life, but don’t spend time wallowing. There’s a bright, beautiful future, full of possibility, ahead.
I get it. Perhaps one day you’ll return to wearing suits or have another baby. Perhaps one day I’ll love brown again. But not today. If and when that time comes, you’ll want to celebrate and live into the choices you’ve made with a fresh wardrobe that speaks to your current self.
So, now that you’ve cleared out the items that no longer serve you because they represent your past self, let’s take a clear-eyed look at who you are today. Today, I love bright, solid colors. I wear black, white, red, and jewel tones. Orange and yellow are my favorite colors overall, but to wear them, they have to be the right brightness. I wear jeans. I wear leggings. I wear petite-sized clothing because I’m 5’2”. If I have to alter it, I don’t buy it. I prefer simple outfits and very few patterns. If it’s not comfortable and versatile, I skip it. I’d rather invest more per item, because I know I’ll love it and wear it, rather than spend on a fast fashion trend. If the item is flattering, I’ll buy a couple in colors I like because I focus on how I FEEL in what I’m wearing at this age. To be honest, it took a solid decade to reach this version of me. When I take a look at who I am, what I do each day, the rooms I go into, and the people I interact with, I now believe that clothing is secondary to what I bring to the conversation. This is the power of coaching and self-exploration.
So, take a look at the clothing in your closet from the perspective of who you are right now. Remember, realistically you can only wear one outfit at a time. Think about your weekly routine. Consider how many times per week you dress up or exercise. Make a mental note of how many times a day, on average, you change your clothes. Then note how often you do your laundry. Weekly or bi-weekly?
If you didn’t do laundry for two weeks, would you need more than 14 sets of clothes plus basics? I absolutely understand that many of us love variety. You love wearing different fabrics or colors depending on the season. You may love trends or fashion for fashion’s sake. Each of us could be more creative making outfits from the items we own, and the overabundance keeps you from seeing the potential combinations. Take a moment to acknowledge that you currently have more than you could reasonably wear. When you consider your weekly routine before you declutter, you’re creating a baseline of how little you NEED versus the abundance you HAVE based on choice. This is the place where your decision-making will come from – the distance between need and want. The distance between items you love, wear, and use, and those that just fill the space in your closet.
Select one category at a time. For example, start with just your tee shirts. Take them out of the closet or dresser and pile them together. Breathe in the total number of items you have. It’s crazy, isn’t it? They came into your house a few at a time, yet collectively, there’s a fair amount. Remind yourself that you can only wear one at a time, and maybe two per day. Allow yourself to be ruthless, in honor of your current lifestyle. If you don’t decide today, the decision-making work will wait for your future self.
Separate out those you truly love, cherish, and value. Then, separate those you could care less about: those that are stained, worn, a terrible color/fit, or those that speak to another era of your life. These are ready for donation or the rag pile. Don’t forget the items that you hoped would fit, you hoped would look better, or hoped would be more comfortable. If you’re not actively wearing or using them, they’re cluttering your closet and your brain when it comes time to make dressing decisions each day. The remaining items – the middle, “not so sure” category – are the ones you have to decide upon. Try them on if need be. If they weren’t definite must keep's, err on the side of donating or recycling.
Remember, the desire to buy more clothing will be ever present, so let go of more items than is comfortable. Allow yourself to notice how keeping a dozen tee shirts doesn’t seem like a lot, but when added together with all the other tops you have, it’s plenty. You’ll never go naked. You’ll be able to express yourself, be comfortable, and have room to add to your tee shirt collection if you part with those items you don’t truly love. The process may be slow at first, yet you’re more organized than you think. Keep going. There’s a reason you wear the same handful of items week in and week out.
The worst that could happen is that you’ll have to do laundry.
Once you’ve done it with one set of clothing items or accessories, repeat this process with another category. Give yourself permission to break the decluttering into a series of sessions. This is where the bulk of your decluttering time will be spent.
Lastly, you can take a look at your wardrobe from the point of view of your future self. (If you haven’t had a chance to listen to Episode 06 “Creating Your Future Self” that might be a perfect episode to listen to next.) Don’t fret about the money you’ve invested in the pieces you’re letting go of. The money has long been spent. Holding onto them won’t put the money back into your bank account. These items no longer hold a strong financial value on the resale market unless they’re luxury items.
Choose to be open-hearted and donate them or sell them online or at a local consignment shop. Do so with the intention of serving someone who will love and value them in a way that you originally did. This process of releasing your negative energy and repurposing it into positive energy for another person ultimately will serve you more than keeping it stored in the corner of your closet. Think less about the financial return and more about the act of giving generously.
Mindfully return only items that suit your current self into your closet. Leave room and space for your clothing to breathe. This extra space is for your future self: the person that you are becoming. Your future is waiting.
As I mentioned, I go through this mindful decluttering process at least once a year. I will say that the first time you work to align your wardrobe with your lifestyle, it may take several sessions. It will get easier with practice. You’ll step out of the swamp of indecision and get to know yourself better. You’ll refine your guidelines of what items are most flattering and feel good to wear. Your personal priorities and values will become clearer. With less items in the closet, you’ll save time and mental energy getting dressed each day. It’s a win/win.
Outro: Hey, y'all my monthly Second Friday's Workshop Series is here. Join me on the second Friday of every month in 2023 for a practical, no frills, come as you are hour of teaching and coaching. I'll show you exactly how I handle one area of home organization, then the floor will be open for questions and coaching. We'll troubleshoot what's feeling challenging for you and get you unstuck on the spot. Find out more and register at www.apleasantsolution.com/workshops or via Instagram @apleasantsolution. Can't wait to meet you.
