The Busyness Myth

“I’m good, but busy,” I’d often reply. Previously, when friends asked me how I was, my standard response always included some form of “busy.” I’d think that my schedule is full. I’ve got a lot to do. I’m getting it all done, yet the days are filled with this and that. I need to respond to this request; I need to remember this tidbit. If I don’t stay on top of it, the whole structure of our family will come tumbling down. Busyness was at the core of my days.

Although it reads like my life was full of pressure, it didn’t feel that way. I took it as normal, as a fact of how our family life operated. I held the belief that I was highly productive, therefore, I need to and managed to get a good deal accomplished each day. However, it was all self-imposed. Busyness is a myth.

Acknowledge Your Role

Everything you do or don’t do each day is a choice. Slow down for just a moment and read that again. Reading this blog is a choice.

You could be doing something else right now (but I’m thrilled that you’re here!). The minutes of your day continue to tick forwards whether you’re aware of how you’re using them…or not. 

We’re seemingly unaware of all that we do each day. Tracking how you spend each minute of your day is an easy way to bring awareness to how you’re actually spending your time.You’re taking out the garbage, refilling the coffee maker, driving to the pharmacy, waiting on hold with the repair people, checking and replying to email, the list goes on.

There are certain tasks in your week that you feel are required: laundry, eating meals, sleeping, bathing, talking with your family. You don’t think twice about doing them. How about attending a meeting or putting your children to bed? Are these also required?

I know it may seem like a stretch, but everything is optional. You choose to do them – whether you’re aware it’s a choice or not – because you unconsciously recognize that the alternative (not attending the meeting, not putting your children to bed) has a consequence. 

Busyness occurs when you don’t stop to draw a firm line, or boundary, around how you spend your time. When you weigh each activity, invitation, and task on your to-do list as equally important, you create your own busyness. Everything blends together and few things are prioritized.

For example, when you accept an invitation without thought and tell yourself that you “have to” attend, you discount the power you have to pick and choose how you want to spend your time. You unconsciously assume that duty outweighs your personal control, and more and more things are added to your weekly schedule.

Consider the Opportunity Cost

Slowing down and viewing your schedule as a blank slate helps you to begin to see how everything is optional. Another approach is to consider how each moment you are doing one thing, you’re not doing something else. This is the opportunity cost.

Lack of free time is a great example. Many of us complain that we don’t have enough time to “do what we want.” What if instead you thought:

·      “I’m always doing what I want.”

·      “I always have a choice.”

Free time disappears because you give it permission not to exist. You’re busy doing something else. You’re choosing not to take free time, nor to make it a priority. In your mind, the consequence of taking free time sacrifices something on your to-do list that could be accomplished instead. (For me, I’m currently choosing to write this blog post rather than taking a walk.) 

Decide What Works

Beware of this busyness trap. Tracking your time and defining your priorities are great first steps to eliminating the busyness syndrome. Knowing exactly what is most important to you during this season of your life, or this month, will better align how you spend your time with what you want to be doing.

Take a few moments to journal or look inwards to decide. There’s no right or wrong answer about what you need, what’s most pressing, and what would be most fulfilling today. Only you can decide where your focus should be right now. 

Take it from me, you won’t win an award for being busy. You won’t receive recognition for how efficiently you’re managing your time. Nor will anyone ever acknowledge how much of your to-do list you’ve gotten through. The list itself is a bottomless bucket that will always refill. It’s your responsibility to pick and choose what tasks to attend to this week. They’re not all equally important nor equally pressing. They just want you to feel that way. 

You’re in charge – not the clock, not your boss, not the list, not your extended family – you. Decide what works and design your schedule accordingly.

If you struggle with busyness syndrome, I can definitely help. Book a free exploration call today.