70 | A Mindset for Moving
70 | A Mindset for Moving
Moving is emotional – it can cause a lot of excitement and joy, but also sadness, anxiety, and stress. But what if I told you it's also an opportunity for growth, adventure, and self-discovery?
Listen in as I share my personal journey of 14 moves, revealing the positive mindset that has made each transition an enriching experience. Learn how to declutter not just your space, but your life, and discover the true meaning of stability and discover how to view moving as a three-part process to lessen the burden and approach change with excitement and intention.
Whether you're a seasoned mover or contemplating your first leap, this episode will inspire you to follow the adventure. Don't let the thought of moving overwhelm you—let it excite you! Tune in to learn how.
And join me as I extend an open invitation to you—to be part of the "100 Hours of Listening" initiative. Whether you're a friend, past client, silent listener, or a fellow professional, your voice matters. This isn't a sales pitch or a consultation; it's an opportunity for you to be heard, without cost or obligation, in a non-judgmental space.
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Intro: Welcome to A Pleasant Solution, Embracing An Organized Life. I'm your host, certified life coach, professional organizer, and home life expert, Amelia Pleasant Kennedy and I help folks permanently eliminate clutter in their homes and lives. On this podcast will go beyond the basics of home organization to talk about why a clutter-free mindset is essential to an aligned and sustainable lifestyle. If you're someone with a to-do list, if you're managing a household and if you're caring for others, this podcast is for you. Let's dive in.
Amelia: Welcome to Episode 70, “A Mindset for Moving.” Hey y’all! Before I dive into today’s topic, I wanted to mention that I do currently have availability for 1:1 clutter coaching and within my newest offer of mindset coaching for pro organizers and entrepreneurs. So, if you’ve been considering working with me, reach out, I’d love to help.
Well, today’s episode falls at that interesting transition point between spring and early summer, between school being in and school being out, and between future plans and current plans. For us, that looks like a discussion of where we’re living for the summer and school year ahead. Three years ago – I’m actually shocked it’s been that long – we sold our home and split it into two apartments to support my son’s soccer journey. We’d lived in that home for six years, and those six years have been some of the most settled our family of five has ever had.
You see, we’re about to move for the fourteenth time. Yep, you heard that right: fourteen times. We’ve upsized, downsized, moved between cities, moved overseas, owned houses, and mostly rented. We’ve lived in 600 sq feet to 5000 square feet. We’ve rented furnished apartments, and we’ve filled our living spaces with our own belongings. Needless to say, through experience, we’ve become moving experts.
So, in today’s episode, I thought one of the most valuable things I could offer you is not a ‘how to move’ episode, but instead a peek into my mindset when it comes to moving. I’ll definitely have a moving expert on in the future to discuss the ins and outs of moving best practices, and I may even break my process down during a future episode too. Because folks often rank moving as one of the most stressful life transitions, I thought sharing how I think about moving might give you a breath of hope. I think of moving as a three-part process: the pre-work of planning a move, the move week itself, and the post-move phase. Yes, moving is work, yet just like becoming a caregiver, there are positive aspects to focus on that lessen the burden of the entire process. By shifting your internal narrative to highlight the benefits of moving, you have the opportunity to notice potential future avenues that might benefit you and your family.
Now, let me preface this all by saying all of my moves have been by choice. This is an important point, because I understand that some folks are asked or forced to move for reasons such as divorce, finances, or job loss. If you or someone you care about is forced into moving, I encourage them to seek support for the emotional elements that complicate the move. In addition to physical help moving items, aim to talk or share with a mental health professional so that you’re receiving holistic care.
So, the first thing you’re probably wondering is why have my husband and I moved so much? Well, it’s directly related to takeaway number one: Always follow the adventure. Early on in our partnership, my husband and I decided to go where the work, the schooling, the excitement of life would take us. Hence our family mission of “Always follow the adventure.” I grew up in a tiny town in West Virginia. I have fond memories of my childhood in the country, yet by middle school it was clear to me that most folks tended to grow up and stay put in our area. The more adventurous folks would perhaps go to college in Maryland or Virginia. Overall, small town folks tended to stay close to home. Yet, I felt called to explore more, to travel more, to engage more with all the different ways of living life that are out there. My husband, on the other hand, grew up in Boston and was steeped in the culture of education and academia. His extended family traveled widely, and so he grew up understanding that the world was smaller than it feels.
So, following the adventure has become a mindset, of sorts. Neither of us needed or wanted the security of living close to our immediate family. Being flexible about our physical location meant that job opportunities were even more available. Which is why I’d love for you to get curious about your own living arrangements right now. What kinds of adventures would you like to have? Would moving – whether that’s downsizing or shifting locations allow you to make that possible? When the idea of moving itself is the inner obstacle, it can be hard to grasp onto the benefits or excitement that may be available with moving. Again, moving – the work surrounding it – can act like a brick wall. You can’t quite navigate around it or over it, and since it’s not transparent, you can’t see the possibilities on the other side… at all. You may feel you need a reason to move. You may feel that it would be disruptive to your children to move. There are lots of reasons not to move, but what I want to invite you to consider – even just for the blink of an eye - is how NOT being flexible in where you live may be limiting the growth ahead.
Our move to Cape Town was about seeking excitement before kids. Our first round of long-distance parenting and marriage was about us both having the opportunity to attend graduate programs. We’ve moved because it made the commute easier. We’ve moved because it made more financial sense. Our most recent move is all about bringing two of my three kids back under one roof, as they’ve intentionally been split across our two households the last few years - a decision that was supportive and now is evolving to become supportive in a different way.
And before I move on to offering my second mindset reframe, I want to pause for another interlude which is children. Children are highly adaptable, especially when you give them the opportunity to be adaptable. Now, by no means am I here telling you that you should uproot your family, but what I am doing is inviting you to push the boundaries of what is often traditional thinking. And by that, I mean buy a house, settle down, raise your kids, and avoid selling and moving until they grow up and graduate. We know children are highly adaptable because many military families transfer bases every year or few years. Those in academia transfer universities. Instead of commuting several hours a day, why not consider moving and owning less as an option?
This is how my husband and I think. We choose to consider the possibility. Then we make the choice that suits us best. The door on moving isn’t ever closed because we choose to be future, opportunity-oriented, rather than past focused. So, this is takeaway two. What’s most beneficial for your future self? Your family’s future self? Living in the same house, attending the same school, hanging out with the same friends has benefits for sure. But don’t fool yourself into believing that THAT is what provides stability. Stability is created by you – by your behaviors, by your daily interactions, by your choices day in and day out. Living in the same home and building equity doesn’t translate to stability. Being clear about what you want and desire as a family and then creating that on a yearly basis creates stability.
So, I’d love for you to just dip your toe into the wading pool of the future. (And by the way, this is one of those infinity pools where you can’t quite see the end or the edges. I’ve only seen them on tv, but I can picture how cool they must seem.) How could a new city or less belongings benefit you? What possibilities are created by indulging in living a different kind of life? What emotions come up for you when you think about that level of change? This is the beauty of mindset work. Stretching your mind to see other alternatives besides all or nothing is helpful. It allows you to practice questioning what you’ve held steadfast to for however long. Before making any changes, you’re able to see how anxiety, trepidation, excitement, or pleasure might all be lurking behind the idea of your next adventure. Sure, you can wait until you’re an empty nester, yet downsizing then is just as difficult and labor intensive as it is right now. The work will always be there – to go through the belongings that you own. It’s you who gets to make the choice of whether to see that work as an opportunity that pushes you into a new identity for the future or as a barrier that keeps you weighed down.
Now, let me move into more of the specifics. Another reason moving is beneficial and has a silver lining is that it becomes a concrete reason to recommit to the belongings you own. Don’t underestimate how rewarding this work can be. It’s one reason why decluttering your belongings bit by bit – either in sprints or through a couple powerful decisions a day – is effective. My mindset around moving is that it’s always a possibility. Therefore, I’m regularly looking at my belongings from that lens of, “Do I use it? Do I love – I mean really love – it? Is it still earning its keep?” I have my kids go through this process at the beginning of summer (yep, that’s right now) and during their winter break. It’s become routine.
When you practice believing that moving is a viable option, you begin to see decluttering as something you can do in bits and pieces. You’re more organized than you think, therefore asking yourself on a regular basis if you’d like to continue to keep something is a reframe you can try. Another way that I actively prepare for a move is that I think through all the steps in advance of doing them. Essentially, I break the move down into actionable parts. For most folks who dread moving, they dread it because they choose to employ procrastination. They’re waist deep into postponing the inevitable and have drunk the Kool-Aid of ‘There’s not enough time. It’s so much work!”
Just notice if that’s you. Tasks are inevitably harder when you tell yourself there’s not enough time. Yet, in the time it takes to spin in circles and whine internally, you could have made three decisions. Now, y’all know I lean towards compassion and kindness, so please take my truth telling with a spoonful of self-compassion and kindness. Procrastination is the enemy of moving, and it’s a choice. If it’s a tool you regularly employ, take note, and instead bake that into your process. Ask for help. Reach out to a friend and encourage them to hold you accountable. Use consequences and rewards to motivate you. As I always tell my kids, “The work will wait for you. It doesn’t have feelings. Only you do.” Instead, keep yourself focused on why it’s rewarding to let go of items a few bags at a time. It’s rewarding because it makes your material convoy lighter. It’s rewarding because it means you’re doing a little bit of work now, rather than living in a frazzled state longer than necessary. It’s rewarding because it makes the week of the move so much smoother. Procrastination, on the other hand, makes the move twice as hard. Whomp whomp.
So, the work leads to a reward. The work leads to an opportunity. The work becomes a gift to your future self. You can do this. You’re capable. You’re smart. You’re prepared. You know what needs to be done, and if you’re not 100% clear, you have the skills to seek out support to get those questions answered. When I talk about having a ‘clutter-free mindset,’ one thing I mean is the belief that, “If I don’t know the answer, I can find someone who does.” Or the experience. Or the referral to the person who has the experience and the answer. It’s deeply trusting that something like a move is just a temporary set of tasks that are boring, dull, and physically taxing that leads to a smoother, more engaging road ahead.
Everything you own is your responsibility, now or in the future. Moving simply provides us with the opportunity to go through each drawer, closet, bin, and cabinet to ask ourselves if we still find these items valuable. This is how I’ve managed to move over and over. It’s a mindset of possibility. It’s a mindset of full ownership over what I own and full ownership over the direction in which my family is heading. When it comes to equity in a home, we choose to find that dollars invested in the market have the potential of giving us the same return, if not better. We provide stability for one another and our children because of the thought, “My home is always with me.” Home is not a set of four walls, but instead the collective experience we have with one another. Talk to y’all soon.
Outro: Hey y'all, share the love. Remember, if you've had at least one valuable takeaway from this episode, someone else will too. I'd encourage you to share it with like-minded folks and suggest they follow the podcast too. I truly appreciate your time and I don't take it for granted.
