40 | Shopping Mistakes are a Fact of Life
40 | Shopping Mistakes are a Fact of Life
First, I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to each and every one of you for your incredible support. Thanks to your listening, reviewing, and sharing, this has propelled "A Pleasant Solution: Embracing an Organized Life" into the top 50 of podcasts in my category. I'm immensely grateful for your time and feedback and I'm thrilled to have you on this journey.
On this episode, we're diving into a topic that's all too relatable: shopping mistakes. We've all been there; those moments of buyer's remorse and wondering, "Why did I purchase this?" But instead of dwelling on the past, I'm here to guide you through understanding and learning from these common errors in judgment.
I'll explore shopping mistakes from both a human and professional organizer perspective and share practical tips for navigating shopping mishaps with compassion. Together, we'll explore the reasons behind shopping mistakes, and I'll offer you insights and strategies to turn them into valuable opportunities for self-reflection and personal growth.
So press play now and join me as we unravel the complexities of our shopping habits and work towards a more organized life.
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Intro: Welcome to A Pleasant Solution, Embracing An Organized Life. I'm your host, certified life coach, professional organizer, and home life expert, Amelia Pleasant Kennedy and I help folks permanently eliminate clutter in their homes and lives. On this podcast we'll go beyond the basics of home organization to talk about why a clutter-free mindset is essential to an aligned and sustainable lifestyle. If you're someone with a to-do list, if you're managing a household and if you're caring for others, this podcast is for you. Let's dive in.
Amelia: Welcome to Episode 40, Shopping Mistakes are a Fact of Life. Hey y’all. Before we dive into today’s topic, I want to invite you to celebrate with me. Because of YOU (yes, YOU), A Pleasant Solution: Embracing an Organized Life entered the Top 50 of Podcasts in my category this past week! You’re listening, you’re leaving reviews, and you’re sharing this podcast with others. Thank you! I’m immensely grateful for your time and for your review feedback.
Winegirl26 shares, “So supportive and encouraging! I’ve been following Amelia on social for a little while now as we both belong to the National Association of Productivity and Organizing Professionals. While I’m an estate and digital organizer, Amelia’s podcast is (dare I say) revolutionary.” I appreciate this review because I do believe there’s more discussions to be had about the nuances of home life. There’s no one “right way,” and the more we highlight our lived experiences and use curiosity and compassion, the more you’ll see yourself reflected at some point in the discussion. Carisma2211 shares, “Simple questions equals big change. Amelia knows how to take a complex topic and make it feel simple… Adding this podcast to my library.” Thank you, Carisma2211. My goal with each episode is to shake up your perspective a bit, offer bite-size nuggets to consider, and always point you towards celebrating what’s working in your life. I often encourage clients to consider the question, “How can I make this easier on myself.” Glad that’s coming through in the episodes. And if you haven’t left a review, I’ll encourage you – just like the public radio pledge drive on repeat – to take 3 minutes to do so. It’s one way to help this podcast stay in the Top 50. Thanks in advance.
So, on today’s episode, we’re going to dive into a fact of life: shopping mistakes. Every single one of us makes them. They’re simply errors in judgment and happen because we’re human. The more you normalize and expect them as part of the home management process, the more you’ll be able to interrupt your automatic tendency to criticize yourself or beat yourself up thinking that you should have “known better.” So, to give you a sense of where we’re going on today’s episode, I’ll share with you my thoughts on shopping mistakes, both as a fellow human and as a professional organizer. I’ll bring attention to two common reasons folks misjudge their spending, and I’ll encourage you to redirect your thinking towards how each shopping mistake is an opportunity for self-reflection and growth.
A quick reminder, I’m a certified, trained life coach who specializes in organization and clutter. I am not a licensed mental health professional. I’ll be using the phrase “shopping mistakes” today to identify the occasional errors in judgment humans make around buying and spending on objects, events, or experiences that lead to disappointment and regret. I will not be discussing shopping addiction, or compulsive buying disorder, which is a very real and impactful condition affecting upwards of 6% of the population, that disrupts families and lives. If you are or know someone who buys in excess, in a way that impacts your financial credit, the health and safety of your home, or leads to profound emotional distress, I encourage you to speak to and seek support from a psychotherapist. You deserve to be acknowledged and supported.
In my early 20s, I worked in customer service for COACH, the handbag company. I love connecting with folks one-to-one, and working the handbag sales floor was enjoyable to me. I’m a great listener, and I’m able to point folks to the less noticed features of a handbag. Decision making when purchasing a new item may rest on functionality and price, but it really rests on how it feels. When you try on new luxury handbag, it makes you feel some kind of way. (And if handbags aren’t your thing, feel free to insert your go to item of choice.) When you hold an item, or test drive a new car, or try on a new sweater, your brain automatically begins to form the ownership bond with that item.
It creates a story about the future version of you. It attributes value to the item beyond the price tag. You’re more susceptible to its functionality and the feeling it provides. Amazon and Target know this. COACH and Louis Vuitton know this. Honda and Audi know this too. You’re encouraged to buy because that’s what keeps the economy going and folks employed. Plus, in the moment, it feels like it will solve your problems both small and big.
Yet, you and I know that once you get home and a few days or months pass, that feeling wears off. A luxury handbag can either sit untouched because you’re waiting for a special event to use it, or because your tastes have evolved with the fashion trends. A bulk purchase of food can go unused because you can’t quite get the quinoa to cook right, or folks get tired of that snack food they gobbled up two weeks ago. A new car can seem affordable as you crunch the numbers, yet life is always in motion, and what was affordable yesterday may feel like a stretch tomorrow.
Life is not static, yet when we go to declutter, we judge ourselves harshly for not thinking through a decision more fully. In turn, you long for the money that’s been spent in place of the item. You think that having those dollars back in the bank would feel better than having the unused or unloved item in your home. Notice this. Where’s the winning path in this conundrum? You’ve placed yourself in a lose / lose situation. You can’t get your money back. You can’t recreate that initial good feeling that was created by the dopamine rush when buying. Sit with it for a moment and build awareness on how you’re stuck.
Perhaps your natural, automatic tendency is to avoid acknowledging the purchasing mistake. Or you may justify the purchase by convincing yourself that you’ll use it or wear it or better be able to afford it in the future. Just notice. When I work with clients, the initial part of our conversations focusses on awareness, acknowledgment, and acceptance of what brought us to this moment. Don’t underestimate the importance of this step. Normalizing our choices and behaviors, even when upon reflection they seem like a mistake, allows you to better see how your choice and behavior at the time of purchase was rational. I’ll say it again. Normalizing our choices and behaviors, even when upon reflection they seem like a mistake, allows you to better see how your choice and behavior at the time of purchase was rational. Your choice to buy made sense at the time you made it. You must self-reflect and understand that you’re always making choices in the present that seem to be in your best interest. Hindsight isn’t available to us in the present.
I want to shift now to sharing the two most common reasons that lead to shopping mistakes. I’ve identified these reasons based on personal experience, and based on conversations with clients, family, and friends. I encourage you to look for the ways these reasons might show up for you. Reason one is that you can’t find what you need, so you buy an item again. You know you have the item somewhere, but at the time you’re trying to access it, you can’t find it. Note, if you’re someone with an ADHD brain or are living with an ADHD partner, the prevalence of this reason may be higher for you due to the symptoms of ADHD. The category of items that is most commonly associated with this shopping mistake are daily use household tools: scissors, canned goods, skin care products, etc. During the pandemic, my husband loved to overbuy sanitizer, masks, and gloves. Shopping mistakes don’t always have to lead to a dent in your budget, but they do often lead to clutter. When it comes time to declutter or organize, you’ll find yourself wondering, “Why do I have 15 chapsticks, and are they even all mine?”
The second common cause of shopping mistakes is poor emotional management or impulse control. As I mentioned at the top of the episode, buying makes us feel good. It releases dopamine in the brain. That’s why, whether you’re ordering groceries online or seeking a dress for an upcoming wedding, your brain feels good about the purchase at hand. It accomplished something. It’s not considering any future consequences at the moment.
Many of us buy when we’re feeling “less than.” Perhaps you’ve had a bad day. Perhaps you’re in a particularly challenging season of life where stress levels are high, and the pressure seems relentless. Buying is a quick and easy way to feel relief from the negative emotions of the moment. It feels better to escape for a while online and look for new shoes. For me, I love sweaters. Perhaps you’re out shopping with friends and words like “deserve” and “treat” pop through your mind. Shopping mistakes can occur when you’re not thinking intentionally about a purchase, specifically whether you’ll truly love, use, and be able to afford the item in the future. The impulse to buy (and get that dopamine hit) is stronger in the moment than the rational side of you that’s thinking about your future self.
And that’s it. At the moment, you’re succumbing to being human. Nothing has gone wrong. So, let’s now travel to that future version of you – the one that has to declutter. The one that’s judging your past choices. This is the moment for curiosity and compassion. The money is gone. Keeping the item in your closet, telling yourself that you’ll finish the training, or thinking that you’ll sit down and sell the item on a resale site doesn’t put the money back in your bank account.
Your choice is classified as a “mistake” for a reason. Use curiosity to look back and ask yourself, “What was I thinking and feeling at the time I made this purchase?” This is the valuable data that will help change future behaviors and choices. Allow yourself to feel the current feelings about your past choices, then use the rational portion of your brain to decide your next steps. Ask yourself, “I’ve made this decision and can’t recoup my investment. What would I like to do next?”
The answer may be to declutter and donate. The answer may be to schedule time to resell the item online. The answer may be to institute a 24-hour decision-making period before you’re allowed to buy an item. You’re more organized than you think. Whatever you decide will be the right decision for now. Be kind to yourself and know that you’ll most likely be in this position again. We all make shopping mistakes, yet the more we learn and reflect and give ourselves grace, the more you’ll embrace this organized life. Talk to y’all soon.
Outro: Thanks so much for tuning into this week's episode. If you liked this episode and know of just one other person who'd get value from it too, I invite you to share it with them. I'd be more than grateful. I'd love to stay connected with you too. Make sure to follow this podcast to connect with me on Instagram @apleasantsolution and join my community at apleasantsolution.com. Talk to y'all soon and remember, you’re more organized than you think.
