33 | Procrastination is a Tool
33 | Procrastination is a Tool
Today, I'm talking about procrastination. It's a tool you can use to increase pressure on your output, but it's not who you are. Most folks who use procrastination know that they do it. The difficulty occurs when you add a layer of self-judgment and shame for putting a task off. This makes procrastination painful. Understanding why you use it and how you’re actually increasing your own suffering is the first step towards change.
I will share a bit about my relationship with procrastination, and I’ll share a few behavior descriptions coined by Dr. Abigail Levrini. I’ll also offer several solutions you can implement and practice. My goal is to help you create awareness so that you’re in control of your future choices. You’re more organized than you think.
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ABIGAIL LEVRINI, PHD, Owner and Clinical Director of Psych Ed Connections
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Intro: Welcome to A Pleasant Solution, Embracing an Organized Life. I'm your host, certified life coach, professional organizer and home life expert Amelia Pleasant Kennedy. I help folks permanently eliminate clutter in their homes and lives. On this podcast, we'll go beyond the basics of home organization to talk about why a clutter-free mindset is essential to an aligned and sustainable lifestyle. If you're someone with a to-do list, if you're managing a household and if you're caring for others, this podcast is for you. Let's dive in.
Amelia: Welcome to Episode 33, “Procrastination is a Tool.” Hey y’all. Recently I taught and guest coached in another colleague’s program. The attendees were mainly physicians and clinicians. These folks give so much of their time, energy, and focus to others during their work hours, that on occasion procrastination and delayed decision making shows up in their personal lives. Clutter, whether it’s at your office or home, is tied to emotional management and choice making. Making space in your life is a skill set. It’s not about who you are underneath.
Learning to manage and regulate the emotional energy required to complete tasks - especially when your brain says those tasks are “non-essential” - involves executive function. If you’re chronically exhausted and burnt out (like these physicians and clinicians), tapping into executive function beyond work life may be a challenge. Coaching on the topic of procrastination and clutter brings awareness to the habits you’ve developed, so that from a neutral, non-judgmental place, you can decide what to do next. Each of us must see what’s happening, connect to the feelings that arise, and conceptualize the effects of our choices. From that place it becomes easier to make changes or act. Coaching highlights your agency and power so that you’re always in control of your choices and the objects in your home.
So, let’s talk about procrastination. It’s a tool, nothing more. It’s when you purposefully put something off, against your better judgment. You’re often aware – perhaps just under the surface - that it most likely will make things more challenging in the future. Essentially, procrastination allows us to stay in the relatively “good feeling” longer rather than dive into the relatively “difficult feeling.” Again, it’s a tool you can use to increase pressure on your output, but it’s not who you are.
Procrastination feels like it offers us a benefit, but upon reflection, it often doesn’t. The deeper challenge occurs when we use the word “procrastination” as a label. I’ve seen clients and acquaintances use it as a weapon against themselves. They’ve internalized that they are a procrastinator. Unlearning this thought pattern is important and restorative. Your thoughts, your internal dialogue, creates your reality. Labeling yourself as a procrastinator is one way to ensure that you continue using the tool in a non-supportive way rather than as a powerful, conscious choice.
So, on today’s episode, I’ll share a bit about my relationship with procrastination, I’ll bring in a few behavior descriptors coined by Dr. Abigail Levrini, and I’ll offer several solutions you can implement and practice if you’re someone who regularly engages with procrastination. My goal is to help you create awareness. Most folks who use procrastination know that they do it. You’re aware. It’s the additional layer or cycle of self-judgment and shame that makes procrastination painful. This is how it doesn’t serve you. As a result, you may want to break the cycle. To do so, it helps to first understand how procrastination does serve you.
So first, what are the most common tasks you find yourself procrastinating on? For most of us, they’re projects that we’ve decided are “hard,” “complicated,” or “dull.” They’re not the projects that light us up, get us excited, or lead to direct, concrete wins. You may be able to identify some benefit to completing the task, however, just because that benefit is logical, it doesn’t mean that it’s a strong enough pull to get started.
Next, consider how it feels when you know that you’re procrastinating. Don’t answer this question with your head – your logical brain. Answer it with your body. Take a moment to consider how your body reacts when there’s a task that you either “have” to do or one that’s important enough to make it to the top of your priority list. For me, the task shows up like a gray blind spot in the back of my brain and peripheral vision. It takes up space. My breathing gets shallow, and my chest feels heavier than normal. I don’t sleep as well, because it’s harder to shut off my brain. This is what I mean when I direct you to your body. You have an internal, visceral response that happens when you’re procrastinating. It helps to identify it, because it allows you to acknowledge how pushing back the start of the task affects your daily lived experience. The bodily response is carried with you while you eat, try to sleep, try to listen and focus at work, or with your loved ones. Procrastination doesn’t just affect the specific project; it affects your whole day.
Another way that I know I’m procrastinating is that I tell myself that there’s a million and one little things that I need to accomplish before I get started on the project. That puts a physical barrier between me and the hard thing. You may do this too. Picture your to-do list. The most urgent or important task is the one you’re avoiding. Technically, this task would be at the top of the list. When you choose to procrastinate, suddenly that task gets pushed down to the middle or second half of the list. Small tasks like cleaning the kitchen, answering emails, folding laundry, or researching the “best” way to get the project done, get bumped to the top of the list.
This is because your brain naturally wants to make progress. It wants the dopamine reward of feeling successful or accomplished at something. Yet instead of going for the huge relief of getting the main project out of the way, it’s seeking the tiny pleasure from all the smaller tasks that seem easier. Your brain wants to stay in a good mood. It wants to avoid the pain. It prefers accomplishing straightforward, known tasks rather than gathering the energy to make decisions, feel uncomfortable feelings, and problem solve.
I employed procrastination when I was processing and accepting my mother’s dementia. Her diagnosis wasn’t a total surprise. I’d been noticing the changes for years. However, when I became responsible for taking action, making decisions, and having repeated hard conversations with her and my brother, my brain naturally defaulted to confusion. I heard myself say things like, “I don’t know anyone going through this. I have no idea where to get started.” I’d say to myself, “I’ll start looking at assisted living communities and making phone calls tomorrow.” I’d judge and beat myself up for consciously delaying the inevitable. Sure, I was processing grief… and I knew that I was procrastinating. I knew that when I took the first step, I’d be acknowledging the painful reality of what was ahead. What I couldn’t yet see was the utter relief I’d feel once I stepped back into my power.
Your power is your ability to choose. Procrastination is a choice. It’s a tool. I get it. It’s hard to see through the mist of the many decisions, the increased strain on executive function, the piles of paper, the series of hard conversations to create change… it’s hard to see the relief when the work is in the way.
Recently, I’ve been reading Dr. Abigail Levrini’s book Success with Adult ADHD (second edition). She’s a licensed clinical psychologist, ADHD specialist, and researcher. In Success with Adult ADHD, she provides practical tools and strategies for optimizing an ADHD brain in a world that expects high levels of executive functioning in us all. I enjoyed reading the 5 styles of procrastination she identified, and I’ll briefly share them here. Before I do, I want to reiterate -procrastination is not who you are. Don’t use these styles or types to self-identify then beat yourself up. That’s not the purpose. I’d rather you find comfort in knowing that you’re not alone in how you use procrastination as a tool and then implement a strategy for change if that’s what you desire.
The first style is what Dr. Levrini describes as the Ineffective Prioritizer. If you find that you “attend to those tasks that are most convenient, salient, or interesting,” you may be ineffectively prioritizing what needs to be done. This involves turning to a needed task only when it's urgent. You still desire to be elsewhere when working on the project. A home organizing example I’ve seen is starting on a photo project (where the photos have been sitting in boxes for ages) rather than the hallway closet that drives you bonkers every single day.
The key word here is “ineffective.” You’re aware that solving the hallway closet would feel amazing yet just like the to-do list… the task is comfortably hovering around the middle of the list rather than at the top. It involves pulling items out, making decisions, and finding different storage solutions. Sorting photos sounds better because you get to take a walk down memory lane and tell stories. Time pressure, external consequences, or repeated demands from others will bump the uncomfortable task up the priority chain. Without these external consequences, however, you’re not 100% internally motivated to move forwards.
The strategy for change is to actively practice identifying importance by ranking tasks by deadline. Make the deadline visual, use color to highlight its importance, and set reminders to keep the task top of mind. Dr. Levrini recommends choosing a consequence for yourself for not getting started, and to plan daily check-ins to mark your progress. Self-reflection on what you haven’t accomplished and why partnered with self-reflection on what you have accomplished and why builds the self-awareness and agency necessary to shift out of your previous habit. The more you practice looking at your daily choices around the task, the more ingrained effectively prioritizing will become.
The second style of Dr. Levrini’s is forgetful procrastination. It’s when your working memory, or short-term thinking, is limited or at capacity. You procrastinate by forgetting to continue moving forward. An example may be starting a decluttering project then forgetting why it was important to your overall long-term goals. Identifying a clear why and writing down the scope of your project will be helpful. The shift change comes when you externalize the project – you write down your ideas, the steps required, and your timeline in one place. You’ll want to use timers and reminders to build the habit of checking back in on the project.
Similarly, if you're easily distracted while working. I like that Dr. Levrini identified this as a form of procrastination. It’s when something else is always coming up to interrupt your progress or thinking. You impulsively follow the interruption or shiny object, and this results in negative feelings and judgment later. I often see this when clients start tidying or decluttering, find an object is out of place, take it directly to another room, then get started on a completely different task in that room. Then, you return later to find the first room unfinished and shame yourself for lack of follow through. If this sounds familiar, it’s helpful to “park” your impulses or push the pause button on them. Each time you’re able to do this, give yourself a reward or tiny celebration. For example, with tidying, instead of taking the object out of the room, place it in a bucket or basket for when your task is complete. Set the basket in front of the door so you’d literally trip over it when exiting the room. Either proceed to put items away or set a reminder to complete the second part after a quick break.
The fourth style of procrastination is big picture thinking. It’s when you assume or default to thinking that a task can’t easily be broken down into parts. You tend to get stuck in overwhelm because if you can’t do it all, then why start on the first step. It’s a form of all or nothing thinking. Again, you’ll want to practice making the parts visible. If you have trouble conceiving of the parts, think from the perspective of your partner, a five-year-old, or a good friend. Ask yourself how they would accomplish the task. Your partner may set mini goals, a five-year-old might just pick up the first object in front of them and make one decision, your good friend may identify one area and block out thinking about all the rest of the steps. Dividing and conquering comes with practice, and don’t hesitate to seek input from others on how to break it down. Accountability and co-working partners are great ways to get started on identifying the parts too. Instead of grouping the entire kids’ room into one massive project, think clothes, then linens, then books, then toys OR think closet, then bookshelf, then toys in the bedroom, toys in the living room. You’re more organized than you think. Give yourself grace to come up with categories that make sense to you.
Dr. Levrini’s last style of procrastination rings true to me. A few of the others do too, but I hadn’t previously considered perfectionism as a method of procrastination. Perfectionism, in this case, is when your expectations are so high that you become stuck in inaction. An example may be when you desire an Instagram or Pinterest worth pantry and hyperfocus on this unrealistic expectation to the extent that it's debilitating. Instead of being able to work on the project in your time frame, your budget, your current shelving situation, you delay making any decisions. Problem solving seems impossible if it can’t be near perfect. This is exhausting. Perfectionism can lead to overworking (internally and externally), or it can lead to resignation from the whole thing. Breaking free of this swamp requires you to trust yourself and feel the discomfort of potentially making mistakes or figuring out the process through trial and error. When you procrastinate, you’re actively avoiding these negative feelings. As I mentioned earlier, your brain fixates on the uncomfortable now versus the overwhelming relief of later.
It's normal to procrastinate. It serves you by keeping you from spending your energy. It serves you by extending the pleasurable moments of life just a tad bit longer. However, it’s a double-edged tool and can become an ingrained habit. Check in with yourself. Consider how frequently you use it to put pressure on yourself to get things done. The more you use it, the more negative feelings associated with it you’ll feel. Remember, you always have a choice. Neither is right or wrong. The choice simply determines your lived experience, the shape and energy expenditure of your day, and this choice is where your power always lives.
Outro: Hey y'all, my monthly second Friday's workshop series is here. Join me on the second Friday of every month in 2023 for a practical no frills, come as you are hour of teaching and coaching, I'll show you exactly how I handle one area of home organization. Then the floor will be open for questions and coaching. We'll troubleshoot what's feeling challenging for you and get you unstuck on the spot. Find out more and register at apleasantsolution.com/workshops or via Instagram. Can't wait to meet you.
