27 | Why Morning and Evening Routines are Essential
27 | Why Morning and Evening Routines are Essential
Whether you're well into the journey of embracing an organized life or at the very beginning of it, revisiting your morning and evening routines is always a great and impactful practice. We measure the passing of time in days. Therefore, having a conscious simple start and end to your day creates space to reflect upon this larger journey of life that we're all on together.
Creating a structure that works for you has several practical reasons and benefits—defining what simplicity looks like for you helps reduce mental, physical, and emotional clutter preventing you from living an organized life.
I will also share key choices I have made for my days that regulate my morning and evening routines despite distractions from family, obligations, and the constant stimuli that take up space in our brains. Finally, I will help you examine what you're currently doing each day and suggest a few adjustments to consider.
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Intro: Welcome to A Pleasant Solution, Embracing an Organized Life. I'm your host, certified life coach, professional organizer, and home life expert, Amelia Pleasant Kennedy, and I help folks permanently eliminate clutter in their homes and lives. On this podcast, we'll go beyond the basics of home organization to talk about why a clutter-free mindset is essential to an aligned and sustainable lifestyle. If you're someone with a to-do list, if you're managing a household, and if you're caring for others, this podcast is for you. Let's dive in.
Amelia: Welcome to Episode 27, “Why Morning and Evening Routines are Essential.” Hey y’all. I can’t wait to explore today’s topic with you. But first, I’d love to share a listener review. I encourage you to keep them coming! MaryFB27 shares, “This podcast is everything I was yearning for and didn’t know! Amelia’s message is not only simple to practice, but it sticks with you in a deep way. By listening to one episode, I was capable of noticing small changes in how I see myself in relation to my level of organization and in my mental / emotional clutter. She helped me question my perceptions without making me feel wrong for having them. What a precious and powerful way of helping people!” Thank you so much MaryFB27. That truly is my intention with this podcast. It’s the noticing of our habits that leads to small changes. When you find smaller successes, they compound into larger lifestyle changes.
That’s what I’ll be sharing about on today’s episode. Whether you’re well into your journey of embracing an organized life or at the very beginning of it, revisiting your morning and evening routines is always a great, impactful practice. We measure the passing of time in days, therefore having a conscious, simple start and ending to your day creates space to reflect upon this larger journey of life that we’re all on together. One of the core values of my business, A Pleasant Solution, is simplicity of time, space, and being. Life tends to feel complicated, and the more you define for yourself what simplicity looks like for you, the less clutter – mental, physical, emotional – you’ll have all around.
So, to give you a roadmap of where we’re going on today’s episode, first I’ll talk about why I believe morning and evening routines are essential to an organized life. There are several very practical reasons and benefits to creating a structure that works for you. Then, I’ll share how to examine what you’re currently doing each day and suggest a few adjustments for you to consider. I’ll also share a couple key choices I’ve made for my days too.
In previous episodes, I’ve mentioned that words matter. If you bristle against the word “routine,” try “ritual.” If you’re living with an ADHD brain, structure to your days may seem internally counterintuitive, however all our brains crave knowing what’s next in some shape or form. In his book, The Creative Act, Rick Rubin shares, “Limit your practical choices to free your creative imagination.” This will be exactly what I’ll be encouraging you to do. The beginnings and ends of your day are sacred space, and by defining a block of time for regular ritual, you’ll actually be lighting up the creative centers for your brain. Deeper rest and restoration, more dreaming, more inspiration, and more energy will be your reward.
After the first few months of lockdown had passed and folks were starting to think about outdoor, social distancing gatherings, my husband and I had a chat. We both were adamant about keeping our family Covid-19 free. To be fully transparent, we had the privilege of space. We had space to exercise, to work from home, to choose homeschooling for our kids, and outdoor space to keep sane. Although we missed getting together with friends, we collectively made the umbrella decision to stay home as much as possible. I witnessed lots of my friends and colleagues mulling over get togethers: they were routinely calculating whether an event or gathering would be “safe.”
To me, this was unnecessary brain chatter. One of the reasons I love being decisive is that it cuts down on the internal back and forth of internal noise. I’d rather make a decision, stick with it (even when it’s hard), and have my own back as I navigate my days. It places my power squarely with me and isn’t dependent on others to – in the case of Covid, keep me safe. So, my husband and I decided that we’d decline all invitations or events. Not some, all. Rather than weighing each get together as safe or unsafe, we simplified our life by making one decision around the whole topic.
I share this example because it’s relevant to our morning and end-of-day rituals. Choosing to be disciplined – even in one or two areas of your life – creates freedom. It creates less internal noise and more brain space. If you believe that less mental clutter would serve you, carving out time at the beginning and end of your day on a daily basis is a great starting place. That’s because, again, counterintuitively, discipline helps freedom blossom. When your brain knows exactly what to expect in the morning or evening, it doesn’t have to work as hard. The defined space gives your brain the breathing room it craves to take a break. Decision making is a constant process all day long and the fatigue your mind experiences is real. By outlining a time for your morning and evening rituals, your explicitly telling your brain that it can take a break from making decisions.
Another reason that defining time and space for your morning and evening routines is essential is that it communicates to others in your household when you’re unavailable. If you’re a woman, or were raised socialized as a woman, making time for yourself can be a challenge. You’re working against years of conditioning that encourages you to always be available. Part of the reason it’s hard to turn off the loop of mental chatter at the end of the day is that socialization. The to-do list for others and for your household is never-ending. It often starts the moment your eyes open and accompanies you as your eyes close… IF you let it. Setting time to start your day or “close all the tabs” in your brain as I’ve heard my clients say is a revolutionary act against being always available to others. It’s your way of saying, “This time is for me. This time is sacred for my mental health.” No matter how hectic life is on the outside, making yourself unavailable in the morning and evening is the transition you need to remain grounded.
Think about young children, perhaps even your own. Children thrive with routine and structure. There’s a reason why we actively create bedtime routines. They work. Kids often need time to wake up and get started in the morning too. I get it. Every human is wired differently, and overall, they need the same thing to turn on and turn off. Some of us just wish there was a switch to make it more immediate. Overall, my family has been early to bed, early to rise. I have two teenagers, and one pre-teen now, so that’s changing. When they were young, even when they got up early on the weekends, I’d create space for myself. They could either cuddle with me in bed for a few minutes, play on the floor in my room or theirs, or eventually have a “pre-breakfast” with self-serve cereal and milk. I intuitively knew that I needed time to wake up, so I set systems in place to allow them to easily give me that brain space. Similarly, my friends – if they were visiting past the kids' bedtime - would chuckle because I’d say, “Alright. The day is done.” My kids knew that meant brushing teeth and climbing into bed to read. Why then, as adults, do we stop these habits for ourselves? I invite you to get curious about what your own reasons may be.
Quick recap: the first reason why morning and evening routines are essential is that making the one decision to be disciplined about time for yourself helps to shut off the decision-making mechanism in our brains. The second is that it teaches others that at certain times of the day you are unavailable. If you’re someone who struggles to make time for yourself, these times are an excellent starting place. They’re easy to control, easy to carve out, and once you communicate to others that you’re no longer working in service of their needs or the household needs, your boundaries will be set. The more you practice, the more it will give others time to themselves too.
Alignment and sustainable living comes from putting changes like these in place for yourself. Time alone to clear your thoughts benefits those around you tremendously. You’ll be more compassionate to yourself and others with dedicated time for reflection. Now, I’m not foolish. I know this topic is a common one, so I’ll be forthright. You can listen to me share today and not take any action in your own life. Consuming content or lessons about self-development can feel productive. It’s truly not unless you take at least one nugget and implement it. You’re more organized than you think, so trust yourself to look at your current habits and make an adjustment that seems reasonable.
Let’s start with your evening. For many of us, at the end of the day we’re exhausted. We’ve used our adrenaline and willpower for the day. Our cognition or the ability to think rationally isn’t at its height. You may be frazzled, short-tempered or fried. All your brain wants to do is sit on the couch, scroll social media, stream a show, or drink alcohol. I’ve been there. Alternatively, if you’re a night owl, you’re about to get your second wind of inspiration. Either way, I’d suggest two steps before you actively make any changes. First, observe yourself for the upcoming week ahead. (Or, you can look back at the week prior.) What are your current habits? What time do you actually separate yourself from the kids and housework? What time do you actually get into bed? What time do you drift off to sleep?
We’re all continually inundated with information, lights, and stimulation. It’s coming from your phone. It’s coming from your housemates. It’s coming from the lingering thoughts from earlier in the day. You can choose to lessen the stimuli by implementing a timed boundary. Your phone has a variety of features you can set: bedtime notifications, deactivation of certain apps, mindfulness and breathing reminders. Before making these adjustments, first be brutally honest with yourself. You may be keeping your brain and body active long after it wants to be without knowing it.
I’ve heard several clients say that the end of the day is the only time they get to connect with their partners. That may be true, and it’s something you can observe and choose to change. If this is you, think about whether this time is quality connection time. If you’re both overworked and overtired, are you truly having powerful conversations? You can even talk about it together. Problem solve this by identifying other times where you have more brain space and emotional energy to invest in your relationship. I’m not a night owl, so my husband knows that I’d rather connect with him early in the evening or on the weekend than force connection at 9:30 or 10pm.
Look at your current behaviors, then look within. If you were to listen to your body INSTEAD of your brain, what time would your body say it was time to stop and relax? Many of us have muted this internal connection. You may be regularly overriding your internal wisdom for what your brain thinks is an opportunity to check one or two more things off your list. Yet, getting one or two more things done comes with a physical, mental, and emotional cost. Examine where you may be trading your sanity or wellbeing for one more “to-do.” As always, this is about recognizing your power – your control. It’s not about which choice you make but knowing that you’re consciously deciding how to use your time.
I love bedtime. It’s precious to me. Sleep is my happy place, and now that I’ve embraced that as my truth, I’m unavailable after 9pm. My household knows it. My phone knows it. My brain and body are happiest when I’m reading, listening to music, foam rolling out the kinks in my upper back or shoulders, or journaling. When you’re ready to make changes to your morning or evening rituals, make it easy by listening to and respecting your body’s wisdom, even more than your brain. (Remember – it’s not even making much sense late at night or early in the morning anyway.)
I’m an early bird. Even so, I give myself a minimum of 30 minutes to wake up before I have to engage in conversations, make decisions, or interact with others. I drink coffee. I stare out the window. I review my calendar for the day. (I also do this during my evening ritual.) I consciously choose what I want my day to feel like. Even if I’m sleepy as I’m waking up, these 30 minutes are a time to activate my brain and body with compassion, not force it to rush into the day’s activities unprepared. I love that my son has noticed that he needs this time too.
When you’re ready to make adjustments to your days, start by honoring your natural rhythms and cycles. If you’re a night owl and you have to get up early for work, think about what makes sense for your week. It may pain you to get up early, and that may be a reason to give yourself a generous amount of time to wake up. You have to wake up either way, so you can choose to do this while also managing kids and the logistics of the day, or you can do it at your own pace first. Look for nights in your schedule where you can stay up and indulge your creativity. If you have a flexible work schedule, consider if working in the late evening is actually more effective than mid-morning work. Explore breaking the standardized work day mold by getting more done when your brain thinks best.
Lastly, to actively identify my morning and evening routine slots, I have them blocked off on my calendar. They’re visual reminders that each day has a beginning and an end. No single day will be eternal, no matter how joyful or challenging it may be. My morning block states, “What will I create today?” My evening block states, “Daily Wins + Meditation.” They remind me to seek the positive moments and hold them dear. It’s easy to get caught up in the negative, and these prompts require me to actively reflect on what worked.
This is your precious life. Dedicating time to transition to bed and transition to wake will reap sizable rewards, so keep after the daily discipline. Taking a few moments to honor yourself and all the beautiful effort you put into it is one way to enjoy the journey. Talk to y’all soon.
Outro: Thanks so much for tuning into this week's episode. If you liked this episode and know of just one other person who'd get value from it too, I invite you to share it with them. I'd be more than grateful. I'd love to stay connected with you too. Make sure to follow this podcast to connect with me on Instagram @apleasantsolution and join my community apleasantsolution.com. Talk to y'all soon and remember, you are more organized than you think.
