Making decisions is the backbone of home organization and lifestyle management, yet many of us forget how powerful a single decision can be. When you move throughout your day-to-day, you make numerous decisions unconsciously. You’re oblivious to the cumulative impact of these choices: digital clutter piles up, household items don’t get put away, and the schedule gets overbooked…again. Life feels like it’s happening to you. You see yourself as a passenger in your own life rather than the as the driver.

It also may feel like decisions are being made for you. 

·      Other people aren’t helping. 

·      Other people have too many activities. 

·      Other people aren’t being clear about what they want or need. 

·      If the constant flow of incoming information from work and school would just pause, sanity would have the opportunity to briefly return. 

This perspective has you relinquishing your power and your ability to consciously choose what belongs in your life.

Step 1: Awareness

The first step to making a powerful choice is becoming present. Start by slowing down. Zoom out from your life for a moment. Think about how you’re currently making decisions about what comes into your home, how it’s being cared for, and whether your home is running on autopilot. If your automatic response is “this is just the way has to be” or “other people make the decisions,” look again. Your participation in the decision making occurs either actively or passively.

Not deciding – or allow something to happen without active input – is a decision. You’re deciding not to act. I see this most often with household items. Families delay letting go of baby items that have been outgrown or antiques from previous generations because they think they’ll get around to decluttering later. When I arrive, I remind them that the decision is fortunately, still waiting for them.

Delaying decisions doesn’t make them easier. It simply adds the burden of time and a layer of self judgement upon the original decision.

Step 2: Consider Your Options

Another reason many of us delay making a powerful choice is because we don’t like the options. We procrastinate and think the “right” choice will make itself more apparent with time (or that more favorable options will suddenly appear). The truth is, in many areas of our lives, we’re not in control of the options. 

My mother wasn’t in control of whether she lost her memory. The next steps required formulating a care plan and a care team. My options included having her live with me, having her stay in her hometown, having her move into assisted living, or to continue to allow her to live on her own (aka delay the decision). 

None of these options seemed ideal. Neither she nor I wanted to be forced by dementia to choose. My path to a decision included considering her feelings and desires, my ability to care for her over the next decade, and what would be the least disruptive for her.

Some of us fall into the trap of learned helplessness. Learned helplessness is when we believe that no matter which option we choose, nothing will make a difference in the outcome. It’s a form of giving up. This mindset will leave you stuck, and nothing will change. Seek support from an outside, non-judgmental party if you feel paralyzed by the decision.

A better approach is to notice that all options have trade-offs. Challenge yourself to consider what lies in the gray area between yes and no, keep or toss, right or wrong. When I was selling my home and downsizing, I had several heirlooms that I couldn’t take with me to our apartment. There just wasn’t room. Instead of selling or donating them, I had a friend offer to take the furniture and use it with love. It was a brilliant in-between solution to my scenario.

For my mother, we decided that she’d live nearby but independently. This was the best arrangement for both her and I. She maintained her space and freedom, and I was just a phone call away. The adjustment was as smooth as one could expect from a drastic cross-country move.

Step 3: Take One Step + Support Yourself 

Consider your first, next best step. Make the first phone call, declutter one drawer, or decline one invitation to an event you don’t want to attend. Home and lifestyle changes are made one decision at a time. With practice and repeated effort, they compound to impact your life. 

Stop telling yourself that you need to “get organized” or “do less.” Nothing will change from a gigantic goal. Break it down into one small action. Dedicate one hour. Decide to exercise, to drink more water, to get more sleep today. Repeat the choice tomorrow. Or pick one item from your to-do list and ask yourself is it even worth your time and effort. Eliminate the excess responsibilities you’re your life because you can. You’re in control. It’s your life. No one else is running it but you. 

Support yourself by reminding yourself that you know what’s best for you. Let the advice of others, including family members, wash over you. Listen with love, take what is meaningful and helpful for you, and leave the rest. People pleasing helps others, not you. 

At the end of the day, there’s no right decision. There’s the one you make, and the one you stand behind. Make that decision work for you and move forward with life. There’s so much joy, light, and living ahead.

I’d love to know your thoughts. Connect with me on Instagram or share below.👇🏽